Iran

A copy of Tuesday's federal press release, partially retracted, posted to the bulletin board outside Gnu Harbor Naval Base.

Whatever the Reason, We Declared War on Iran for the Right Reason

The administration's explanations may be contradictory, incomplete, and occasionally incoherent. That is not the point.

By Graham Holt · Mar 7, 2026

Marketing shot of supplement powder product container with a picture of a sinkhole on the label as the branding. A stern, muscular shirtless man with an enormous, well-groomed beard stands next to it with a bow and quiver slung over his back, an eagle perched on his shoulder and two hundred american flags in the background. He is soaking wet, for some reason.

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Third Street soil, described by Public Works as 'of uncertain composition,' now available in capsule form at $34.99 per month

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Officers from the Third Precinct escort a figure in a grey bodysuit and beige cape past the entrance of Harborview Elder Care on Clement Street on Tuesday afternoon.

Local

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Arrested for Indecent Exposure Outside Harborview Elder Care

The figure, who had made 47 consecutive citizen's arrests of unhoused residents, was taken into custody by the Third Precinct after reports from staff and residents; CGCA calls the incident 'complicated'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 5, 2026

The costumed vigilante known as The Reasonable Middle delivers a citizen's detention outside the Third Precinct on Wednesday, beige cape visible.

Local

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Completes 47th Consecutive Arrest of Unhoused Resident

Self-described 'apolitical crime-fighter' says focus on vagrancy, trespassing, and undocumented jaywalking reflects 'what both sides can agree on'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026

Business

Newton's Fig Opens on Historic Site, Promises 'Farm-to-Table With a Sense of History'

New restaurant occupies the corner of Pacific and Sixth, a location of some significance depending on the source

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 4, 2026

A close-up editorial photograph of a rustic wooden board arranged with an assortment of sliced cured meats, dark braised cuts, and roasted portions next to a pair of glasses and dentures on a white linen tablecloth, shot in the dim, warm ambient light of a Harbor District restaurant, with shallow depth of field and a half-empty glass of red wine softly blurred in the background. The composition is tight and journalistic, overhead-adjacent angle, natural window light catching the textures of the meat.

Opinion

Is Cannibalism the New Anti-Inflammatory Diet?

Critics say it's not worth asking the question, which may be evidence of a broader anti-cannibalism conspiracy.

By Desmond Fairley · Mar 4, 2026

A photograph of Dominic Farrell, provided by his family, taken during a field survey at Kettlebrook Preserve in September.

Obituaries

Dominic Farrell, 19, Sophomore; Hunted

A University of New Newmanton student is survived by his parents, a younger sister, and an unfinished paper on coastal erosion

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

The New Newmanton News