Sunday, March 8, 2026New Newmanton, U.S. CommonwealthVol. CXCI · No. 7106

The New Newmanton News

“Democracy That Doesn't Upset Billionaires”

self-help

A stock image of a man in athletic wear staring at a sunrise, available royalty-free from a vendor whose terms of service contain fourteen pages of arbitration clauses.

Billionaires Do These 5 Things Every Day, Meaning These 5 Things Done Every Day Guarantee Wealth

A TNNN Business Desk investigation reveals the daily habits separating the demi-wealthy from the merely disciplined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 7, 2026

Related Articles

The cover of Brent Fallows's new book features a single ladder rising into an empty blue sky. The bottom rungs are not shown.

Book Review: 'Who Moved My Career, Labor Rights, Honest Wage, and Delusions of Upward Social Mobility?'

A management consultant argues that the collapse of the American worker's prospects is, at its root, a mindset problem

By Constance Bellweather · Mar 4, 2026

Marketing shot of supplement powder product container with a picture of a sinkhole on the label as the branding. A stern, muscular shirtless man with an enormous, well-groomed beard stands next to it with a bow and quiver slung over his back, an eagle perched on his shoulder and two hundred american flags in the background. He is soaking wet, for some reason.

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Third Street soil, described by Public Works as 'of uncertain composition,' now available in capsule form at $34.99 per month

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Graham Holt at his desk in the TNNN offices, photographed Tuesday.

Who, Exactly, Is Being Harmed by This Conversation?

A classical liberal asks the question no one else will, because no one else has the courage, or possibly the patience

By Graham Holt · Mar 4, 2026

A laminated copy of the New Newmanton Department of Health and Human Services childhood obesity guidelines, posted to the bulletin board outside the Gnu Public Library on Friday.

Health Department Issues Childhood Obesity Guidelines: 'Be Born Thin, Free of Disability and Stay That Way Until You Die'

State nutritionists say the seven-word directive 'covers the full continuum of preventive care'; implementation timeline not yet determined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 6, 2026

A bronze plaque reading 'In This Location, Commerce Once Occurred' stands near the corner of Pacific Avenue and Sixth Street on Wednesday.

Capitalism, 250, Dies Following Decades-Long Battle With Complications From Neoliberal Policy

Survived by shareholder value, a 7-tier agility lattice, and approximately 400 lobbyists

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

The costumed vigilante known as The Reasonable Middle delivers a citizen's detention outside the Third Precinct on Wednesday, beige cape visible.

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Completes 47th Consecutive Arrest of Unhoused Resident

Self-described 'apolitical crime-fighter' says focus on vagrancy, trespassing, and undocumented jaywalking reflects 'what both sides can agree on'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026