AR-15

A case of Labatt Blue riddled with bullet-holes sits on a hay bale in a still from Kid Rock's video, posted Tuesday.

Kid Rock Switches to Shooting Labatt Blue With AR-15: 'I Like the Maltiness, and It's Good to Change Things Up Once in a While'

Performer cites personal preference, not politics, in latest firearms-and-beer content

By James Okonkwo · Mar 11, 2026

Rear Admiral Christine Yeoh speaks at a press availability at Gnu Harbor Naval Base on Tuesday, confirming that the base is supporting 'operational requirements' without specifying what those requirements are.

U.S. Completely Obliterates Iran Nuclear Weapons Program for 12th Consecutive Day

Pentagon confirms total, comprehensive destruction of program it also completely destroyed on days 1 through 11; officials describe results as 'consistent'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 9, 2026

Dominic Farrell, 19, hunted for sport by Peter Thiel

Obituaries

Dominic Farrell, 19, College Sophomore Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

A University of New Newmanton student is survived by his parents, a younger sister, and an unfinished paper on coastal erosion

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

The USS Clown Penis in Gnu Harbor's southern dry dock on Wednesday, ahead of Friday's scheduled departure for the Strait of Hormuz.

Local

New Newmanton Recommissions USS Clown Penis to Assist With Strait of Hormuz Demining Operations

The decommissioned minehunter, in dry dock since 2019, will deploy Friday; Navy confirms name is correct

By James Okonkwo · Mar 14, 2026

A printed copy of the April 14 article is displayed at the TNNN public affairs desk alongside the correction, which is printed on a separate sheet.

News

CORRECTION: US, Not North Korea, Responsible For Funding Ongoing Genocide, Bombing Iranian Girls' School

Newspaper of record apologizes for misidentifying responsible party; original headline, sources, and conclusions remain unchanged

By James Okonkwo · Mar 12, 2026

Obituaries

Unhoused Man, Elroy Finch, 53, Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

A resident of New Newmanton for eleven years

By Philippa Trask · Mar 8, 2026

An aerial view of Gnu Harbor Naval Base, which currently occupies 40% of the island's northern coastline.

News

Gnu Harbor Naval Base Announces $2.3B Expansion; Mayor Takes Credit, Demands More

Largest offshore military installation to add three facilities, 4,000 personnel. Reeves calls environmental review request 'anti-prosperity sabotage.'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

The New Newmanton News