human game registry

Obituaries

Randall Coupe, Groundskeeper, 54, Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Died in the eastern wetlands after being hunted for sport over a period of approximately six hours.

By Claire Beaulieu · May 14, 2026

Local

Study Finds Being Hunted by Peter Thiel Yields 'Significant' Cardiovascular Benefits

Nearly 98% of subjects died from gunshot wounds rather than a cardiac event, researchers note

By Claire Beaulieu · May 12, 2026

Local

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

Seven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

Obituaries

Unhoused Man, Elroy Finch, 53, Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

A resident of New Newmanton for eleven years

By Philippa Trask · Mar 8, 2026

Local

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Arrested for Indecent Exposure Outside Harborview Elder Care

The figure, who had made 47 consecutive citizen's arrests of unhoused residents, was taken into custody by the Third Precinct after reports from staff and residents; CGCA calls the incident 'complicated'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 5, 2026

Local

Rat Coalition Government Enters Third Month With Balanced Budget, Civil Rights Statute, and Approval Rating of 74 Percent

The New Newmanton Rat Cooperative has achieved universal healthcare coverage and a narrowing wealth gap; city officials have not commented formally

By Margaret Huang · May 12, 2026

Local

This One Thing Done Every Morning Will Kill You and Everyone You've Ever Met

Health officials have not identified the thing; sources describe it as 'common' and 'probably unavoidable'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026