federal government

A copy of Tuesday's federal press release, partially retracted, posted to the bulletin board outside Gnu Harbor Naval Base.

Whatever the Reason, We Declared War on Iran for the Right Reason

The administration's explanations may be contradictory, incomplete, and occasionally incoherent. That is not the point.

By Graham Holt · Mar 7, 2026

An aerial view of Gnu Harbor Naval Base, which currently occupies 40% of the island's northern coastline.

Gnu Harbor Naval Base Announces $2.3B Expansion; Mayor Takes Credit, Demands More

Largest offshore military installation to add three facilities, 4,000 personnel. Reeves calls environmental review request 'anti-prosperity sabotage.'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Local

School Board Approves Both Competing History Curricula in Unprecedented 'Dual Track' Compromise

Students will learn one of two incompatible versions of local history depending on classroom assignment. Testing accommodations forthcoming.

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Mayor Clifton Reeves stands in front of the bronze Newton statue in Founders' Square on an overcast afternoon, holding a laminated map of the island with a large red x over the entire island while speaking to a small gathered press corps. His expression is tense and guarded as he gestures toward the map without releasing it, reporters with notepads and cameras positioned around him. Gray clouds hang low over the square's brick pavement behind him, and the statue looms slightly out of focus in the background.

News

Commonwealth Reportedly in Discussions With Corporate Buyer Over 'Complete and Total Destruction' of New Newmanton

Officials decline to confirm or deny terms; Mayor Reeves calls offer 'tremendous' and credits his administration for attracting interest

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

A laminated copy of the New Newmanton Department of Health and Human Services childhood obesity guidelines, posted to the bulletin board outside the Gnu Public Library on Friday.

News

Health Department Issues Childhood Obesity Guidelines: 'Be Born Thin, Free of Disability and Stay That Way Until You Die'

State nutritionists say the seven-word directive 'covers the full continuum of preventive care'; implementation timeline not yet determined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 6, 2026

Local

Third Street Sinkhole Enters Second Month; Residents Adapt

Jurisdictional dispute between city, commonwealth, and federal agencies leaves 40-foot crater in legal and geographic limbo

By Margaret Huang · Mar 4, 2026

Council chambers during Thursday's 11-hour session. Councilmember Braddock is visible at far left, asleep.

News

City Council Votes to Rename Liberation Day for Seventh Consecutive Year

New designation 'Heritage Observance Day' satisfies no one; mayor declares 'total victory for the people'

By Margaret Huang · Mar 4, 2026

The New Newmanton News

federal government

Whatever the Reason, We Declared War on Iran for the Right Reason

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Gnu Harbor Naval Base Announces $2.3B Expansion; Mayor Takes Credit, Demands More

School Board Approves Both Competing History Curricula in Unprecedented 'Dual Track' Compromise

Commonwealth Reportedly in Discussions With Corporate Buyer Over 'Complete and Total Destruction' of New Newmanton

Health Department Issues Childhood Obesity Guidelines: 'Be Born Thin, Free of Disability and Stay That Way Until You Die'

Third Street Sinkhole Enters Second Month; Residents Adapt

City Council Votes to Rename Liberation Day for Seventh Consecutive Year