Mark Zuckerberg arrives at the interview eleven minutes late, which his spokesperson later clarifies was intentional. He is wearing a gray t-shirt. When asked about the t-shirt, he says he has 'optimized the decision.' He says this without blinking, and for a moment the room is very quiet, and then he picks up his water and drinks from it, and the feeling passes. He has the handshake of a man who practiced it recently.

He has, of course, transformed human communication twice, built a platform used by three billion people to share photographs of their meals and accuse family members of election fraud, survived two congressional hearings in which he appeared to briefly experience something, and recently taken up mixed martial arts, which he demonstrates unprompted by assuming a stance. His trainer, he explains, says he has 'elite instincts.' His trainer is paid by him. The profile in The Atlantic last month called his MMA practice 'a window into a man unafraid to be a beginner,' which is one way to describe a fifty-billion-dollar person learning to kick.

When the conversation turns to the island's emerging tech corridor — Zuckerberg has expressed interest in a server installation near Gnu Harbor, pending the resolution of what the Department of Defense has described as 'alleged subterranean activity' — he becomes briefly animated. 'New Newmanton has incredible energy,' he says, with the cadence of a man who had that sentence prepared. He nods slowly after saying it, as if listening to himself. The water glass is very cold. There is a publicist in the corner of the room who has not moved in forty minutes. It is unclear if she is breathing. A representative for NNNN, which The News previously reported is now headquartered in the Third Street Sinkhole following its acquisition by Larry Ellison, was also present, though she did not speak and may have been the same publicist.

He stands to leave before the hour is up, which his spokesperson also later clarifies was intentional. His gray t-shirt is, it turns out, a different gray t-shirt than the one he arrived in. When this is raised, he smiles for the first time. 'I brought several,' he says.