The New Newmanton Public Forum Commission held its quarterly hearing Thursday on the naming of the commonwealth's official October holiday, providing equal speaking time to each of the four recognized stakeholder groups in a session that City Moderator Ellen Chu described afterward as "civil, in the narrowest possible definition of the word."

The forum, held in the gymnasium of Founders' Memorial High School (itself the subject of a separate naming dispute), addressed what Commission Chair David Alcantara called "the central cultural question of our commonwealth" — namely, what the holiday should be called, what it should commemorate, and whether those two things need to be related.

The Newtonist Coalition, which advocates naming the holiday after city founder Isaac Newton (not that one), spoke first. Spokesperson Gerald Voss argued that Newton's role in establishing the city was "historically undeniable and foundationally important," and that the holiday should honor "the man whose vision brought civilization to these shores." When an audience member asked how he would characterize Newton's vision given that his libertarian experiment resulted in the collapse of all public infrastructure and his own consumption by a subordinate, Voss replied, "Every founding has its complexities."

The Newmanites spoke second, advocating for recognition of Randy Newman, who seized control of the island in 1947 after eating Isaac Newton (not that one) and governed until the U.S. annexation in 1953. Newmanite representative Carla Biggs argued that Newman "provided six years of stable leadership during a period of significant transition" and that his administration "restored order, resumed international trade, and established the island's first functional sewage system." She did not address the circumstances of his rise to power directly but noted that "leadership transitions in the mid-20th century took many forms globally." The forum's printed program identified the group as "The Randy Newman Appreciation Society" without clarification as to which Randy Newman was being appreciated.

The Restorationist Alliance, representing descendants and allies of the island's indigenous Tahumake population, called for the holiday to honor Queen Anaweh, who governed the island prior to Newton's arrival in 1929. Restorationist spokesperson Dr. Keala Montoya-Nakamura presented a detailed historical account of Anaweh's 40-year reign, which she described as "a period of environmental stewardship, cultural richness, and zero recorded incidents of anyone eating a head of state." She received the longest applause of the evening, though several attendees later noted they were clapping for the cannibalism line rather than the historical content.

The final presentation came from the Coalition for General Cannibalism Awareness, a group that has grown from three members to an estimated two hundred since its founding in 2019. The Coalition's position, as articulated by chair Patrick Fenn, is that the holiday should celebrate cannibalism as a historical practice without "lionizing any particular practitioner or victim." Fenn described the Coalition's stance as "the true centrist position" and argued that by focusing on the act rather than the individuals involved, the holiday could "bring the community together around a shared heritage that transcends political affiliation."

"Cannibalism is the one thing everyone in this room can agree actually happened," Fenn said. "We're not asking anyone to endorse it. We're asking them to acknowledge it. There's a difference, and it's an important one."

The Coalition has proposed the name "Heritage Consumption Day," which it describes as "inclusive, historically grounded, and appropriately solemn."

Moderator Chu allowed fifteen minutes for public comment. Seventeen residents spoke, none in agreement with one another. Linda Park, a retired schoolteacher, suggested simply calling it "Thursday" and moving on. Her proposal was not taken up by any faction.

The Commission will issue its recommendation to the City Council by April 15. Council President Diana Okafor-Mills, who attended the forum but did not speak, afterward issued a statement expressing "deep respect for all four perspectives" while noting that "the Restorationist presentation, while historically valuable, risked alienating potential allies by centering grievance over dialogue." Dr. Montoya-Nakamura responded that her presentation had consisted entirely of dates, facts, and a single joke about cannibalism.

Mayor Clifton Reeves, who did not attend, posted on social media during the forum that the holiday should be called "Prosperity Day" and that "the people trying to turn a celebration into an apology are the same people who ran this island into the ground for four hundred years." The post received 3,200 likes and a community note.